Virginia WaltonFirst if you took a break, congratulate yourself! It is important to shut down- even if you didn’t go away, but you took a break from work, normal routines, etc. that’s great! If you cannot remember the last time you took a break, we should discuss that too!
So now it’s time to reset. Did you over indulge in rich food and desserts, Easter candy- even if you don’t celebrate Easter – the candy sales and fundraisers are tough to resist, right? I did not only just with candy and holiday left overs, but some extra time going out with friends since they had time.
I gave myself grace to enjoy these experiences and now it’s time to reset. I did not hit the clearance isle last week in Target- I ordered online to avoid the temptation of the candy and went to bed early Sunday night. What are you doing to reset? Are you sitting in that space of self-shaming and self-destruction? Are you thinking- ugh, here I got again, I was making progress and now I’ve totally back-slid? Did you think or say to yourself, “I GIVE UP!” or “F-it!” I’m going to just sit here, eat some chips, and have another glass of wine. Who am I kidding, I’m not going to run a marathon, I can’t even keep the habit to run a few days a week?
If any of that resonated with you, STOP IT!!! The pity party is not helping you. The technical coaching term is that this way of thinking is not serving you. It is giving you an excuse to fail. If you saw my last talk, What You Say Matters, this is when it comes in. Are you telling yourself you can achieve that goal and that you just need to refocus? Or are you giving yourself permission to fail?
Failure is okay but make it a fail forward! What does that mean? It means let every failure or slip, move you forward. I’ve been doing this yo-yo weight thing around Lent for a few years now. I’m stopping it. I would make great progress through Lent and then pig out over Easter week and then it was ice-cream season, then Memorial Day weekend, our birthdays and county fairs and look at that- I’m feeling fat when it’s time to start running for field hockey season. This happened when I left my former employer in November. I went into a period of transition and it included enjoying long brunches with friends which were a treat and so I picked food that were a treat, and wine which I had given up for months while working on my weight goal. When I left my former employer, I was 5 pounds away from my target weight. In February I was 18 pounds away. Let me say that again… post holidays and transition I has 13 pounds further away from my goal. HELLO… backwards! But I re-committed to my self-care and walking my talk.
And I was 6 pounds from my goal before my Easter break and now I’m back on track to hit that goal in May. I have that goal at the top of my thoughts. I was in the cookie isle last week and as I looked at Chips Ahoy and Keebler cookies on sale, I reminded myself of my approaching goal timeline and left them on the shelve. I knew I would enjoy hitting that goal more than the cookie. I’m not depriving myself- I had ice cream. Brian and I get ice cream every Sunday evening from mid-April until the end of October at our favorite local ice cream stand and that’s important. Balance helps us succeed. Great athletes take a period of rest right before a big competition, so if they can, so can you. They do it consciously. That means when you take a break- which you should- do it intentionally and with an end date. It’s okay to give your body a break from your work out, enjoy the special less foods and treats that come with family gatherings and to shut down your mind from creative work. Just make sure you are doing it intentionally then you won’t be inclined to beat yourself and stew in the pity party. So even if you did not set an intention beforehand this time, declare the reset. And you can re-start any day. You do not have to wait for Monday or a new month. Start today! That gives you a running start on your habits for next week. If you have a Monday-Friday job, Monday’s stink so why make it harder with adding a new habit or routine?
As a former co-worker once told me “Suck It Up Buttercup”. By way, this is great advice to live by! It means accept the situation and move forward. Don’t play the blame game and stagnate. Move forward. So next time a party, vacation, or holiday is coming up, you can say I’m intentionally going to deviate from my __________- and reset on _____________.