Virginia WaltonI was at a high school commencement ceremony last week where the Salutatorian’s speech mentioned how silly it was that at 18 years old, they had to ask permission to go to the bathroom.
Of course, that prompted me to think if there were times after high school that I too had to seek that permission. I could not think of any. In college and work meetings, if you need to go, you go!
Yet, when I talk to women, one of the most common things they want is permission. They all wanted permission for something different. The askes varied from permission for a break, vacation, more staff, help, or just to breakdown and cry. To be clear, no one asked for permission to pee!
Early in our careers, we may need to ‘seek permission’ for time off, but usually, that is just making sure there is coverage and everyone is not taking a vacation at the same time or during a critical business period. Typically, by this level, you know these items so it’s more courtesy or formality to put them into the HR tracking system.
Again, we really are not seeking permission.
Here are three reasons to remember you do not need permission to take care of yourself.
1.You are an ADULT!
Personally, there are days this concept baffles me. I don’t know when it happened because I don’t always feel like an adult and enjoy being a goofball and hanging out with the kids next door.
Seriously, though, think about the fact you do not need permission for most things in life. You do not need permission to stay up late, skip taking a shower, buy something you want, eat something unhealthy, or have a second glass of wine with dinner!
You can become a parent without permission!
You do not need permission to go to bed on time, to turn off your laptop, to turn off your phone, exercise, or eat healthy food.
2. You want to give your best
Eleanor Brownn said it best, “You cannot serve from an empty vessel.”
You would not put an empty serving dish on the table at a dinner party and expect your guests to be satisfied. They came expecting a meal, to enjoy good food, and leave without the feeling of hunger.
If you host any type of gathering you want plates and glasses full! You want your guests to have an incredible experience. You work hard for their satisfaction and enjoyment. Personally, I always have too much food because I would hate for anyone to leave my home hungry. That means I failed them as a host.
I bet there is some head nodding and agreement here! So now that we are on the same page, why would you give them an empty version of you?
If you are tired, run-down, exhausted, and pushing through the day on caffeine and carbs, how are you satisfying those around you? Guess what, you are NOT!
Nope, you are giving them leftovers!
And if you are thinking, wait, we have leftovers every Thursday night so I can empty the refrigerator before I grocery shop, or I food prep a few dinners on the weekend to save time during the week, that is different! Your family walks into that meal with the expectation of what to expect. Side note: Kudos for planning ahead!
You do not go to work every day with the intention of giving your responsibilities, your team, and your boss what’s left. You want to give your best every day! That is how you moved up, advanced, and got where you are.
The only way to do that is to go with a full charge. You are being selfish if you do not give yourself the time to resto eat well, to cry if you need to! Yes, some days we need a good cry, to scream or a hug to make us feel better. What comforts you is unique to you, but the point is, do what makes you feel that release. If you need to cry or just melt under the weight, do it!
There was a point in time when I went to kickboxing classes and visualized my stresses at work with each punch and kick. I felt better! It let me go to work the next day with a fresh perspective. I did not need anyone’s permission to work out my stress!
Now, I use different techniques because I am in a different place. What works for you?
Not sure? I am here to help you find what works best for you and your circumstances.
3. Permission is implied.
You are the only person that has control over your well-being, so who would you even seek permission from?
It is your responsibility to be healthy in all aspects of your being. That includes physical and mental. If you are waiting for permission to take a break, you are shirking your responsibility.
Most of us take our responsibilities seriously in terms of work and family, so let me say this again. If you are not taking care of your well-being, you are shirking your responsibilities.
I am sure you are thinking, NO! I am putting my work and my family first. How is that not taking my responsibilities seriously?
- You are not able to give your best if you are physically and mentally run down.
- You are setting an example to those around you that they too need to push to their breaking point.
- Your actions and behaviors are sending messages to those around you every day, are you sending positive and encouraging ones with your choices?
Just like you do not need to seek permission to go to the bathroom, you do not need permission to take care of yourself, meet your needs and be healthy! It is implied, that just do what you have to do.
If you do not believe me, raise your hand in the next staff meeting, wait to be called on, and ask your boss for a hall pass to go to the bathroom. See what reaction you get!
Not willing to do this? Great, stop waiting for permission to meet your needs!
Not sure where to begin, join me next Thursday, June 30th, at 7:00 pm EST for my FREE Masterclass on How to Combat Burnout Without Sacrificing Yourself.
Use this link to register:
https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_E56VLtQWQiS6-UhwJzV3Xw