Virginia WaltonIn my research on burnout, I came across the topic of clutter, now I admit that clutter has not been a personal struggle of mine, but this idea made me realize, there is more than one way to think about clutter.
In the book, “Overwhelmed- How to Quiet the Chaos and Restore Your Sanity” Kathi Lipp shares about the impact clutter had on her productivity. Having to clear off the counter to make a sandwich or constantly looking for things consumed time. This thought prompted a realization of how physical clutter, mental clutter and other people’s clutter can impact our productivity.
Now I ask you three questions:
- Is your space (home, office, car etc.) distracting you or stressing you out because there is just too much stuff or stuff out of place?
- Now after thinking about the physical clutter around you, what about your mind? Is there too much piled up or bouncing around in there?
- What about other people’s clutter? Does it stress you out?
If you answered yes to any or all, let’s look at that a little more. If you answered no, but you someone instantly came to mind, stick around a few minutes.
Let’s start with the latter group, the ones that are not struggling with clutter but just hearing the word brings someone or multiple people to mind. If you have a college or co-worker that fits this description how does working with them impact you or your stress level? Dealing with disorganized co-workers or peers can be stressful. They delay meetings, put you under pressure to meet deadlines because they are delayed with their deliverables, and I’m sure you can think of other stress they raise in you. How do you manage that? Getting frustrated and impatient is not the answer. You cannot change them so you have to change your reaction.
I have a lovely person in my life but when I’m in her home, I don’t even want to sit down because there is so much stuff everywhere. It stresses me out, so we spend time elsewhere so I can focus on the joy of being with her rather than the stress of wanting to get everything piled on her kitchen table put away. That may not be the answer with a co-worker, but the concept is the same.
Do not let their clutter add to your stress. If they are always late, use their tardiness to catch up with others, build it into your plan, or get a coffee while they get situated. Plan for their delay when setting deadlines- set their deliverables to be due a week before you need it so you have a cushion. Plan for it! Do not stress over it!
If you are dealing with your own physical or internal clutter, take a deep breath! It’s okay. First of all, there may be some shame with admitting that. No one knows your answer, so let that go and ask yourself what is the number one reason you are embarrassed? It will be different for everyone. Sit with your answer and once you have some insight then you can look at what needs to be different to get you out of that feeling.
I had co-worker that was a “hot mess”, when she had a child, she said she did not want to be ‘that’ mom, so she started being more aware of her appearance and the appearance of her space. It took fear of embarrassing her child for her to make a change. What will your motivation be?
I grew up in a house of clutter I was the fourth generation to add stuff to the house. My family moved in when my mother was 18 months old and when her grandfather passed away the contents of his house was moved into ours. Now we would not make an episode of hoarders, but the piles of magazines, books, papers and tools always bothered me. As a matter of fact, I was embarrassed when my friends came over. I now realize this is why I’m constantly making sure things are put away in my own home. I do not want to feel that embarrassment again, so I understand why you may feel that way.
When we are ashamed or embarrassed it makes it hard to move forward. Let go of the shame. You are not the only one with some form of clutter. Some of us just carry it internally where you can’t see it. And trust me that can be worse, because you cannot get away from all of the things in your head.
Here are a few tips if your clutter is internal:
- Breath- trust me, taking deep breaths and focusing on your breathing for just a few moments can quiet that noise.
- Focus- find things that help you focus. Maybe it is yoga or some other exercise that requires balance. Maybe it is a mental game or brain teaser that requires you to fully focus on the task at hand to win.
- Stop dwelling on the things that are over! We spend huge amounts of time replaying scenarios or worrying about what they really meant with that comment, email, post etc. How much space are those thoughts taking up? And I bet most of them are not helping you accomplish any of your goals.
Now if your clutter is physical try the following:
- Pick one place to clear and keep clear. I know one woman that wants her kitchen counters clear when she gets home. This sets the entire tone for her evening when she gets home from work.
- Maybe it is your workspace (home or office). Make sure at the end of the day, everything is put away so you start your day with a clean slate!
- Set aside a few minutes each day to focus on keeping that one space clear. It gives you a place to retreat to. Remember as kids we could always go to “BASE!” to be safe. Create your base.
- Do not try to declutter every room of your home, your car and your office at once! One thing at a time. Otherwise, you are you are going to clutter your mind too with all the places that need attention.
Lastly, if you do not struggle with clutter but being around it stresses you out breath. Remember the key is do not judge those people in our lives. They may already be doing enough judging of themselves. instead of going to their house, find another way to spend time together that is low stress for both of you.
Be well!