Virginia Walton
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Are you feeling overwhelmed? If you are, welcome to the club.
School is starting or has started
Even if you do not have kids, it impacts you. When I commuted, I hated, and yes hate is a strong word, the first two weeks of September and I do not have any children! Why, traffic was AWFUL. Everyone was on the road and re-adjusting to new routines with getting kids to school, practice, etc. No one was on vacation. They were all on Route 80.
Fall sports are starting
You may have to get kids there and juggle schedules. You have to adjust your work day to make sure you get the kids there or you coach and have to make sure you get there. Maybe you have to worry about both which is more pressure.
Events are back on the calendar
How about fall events and activities? Are you organizing a charity walk-lot of great causes do fall walks to raise money, a festival, an event at your club or other social place? Did your family have to delay a wedding or other celebration from 2020 to this year? Even if you are not planning these do you have all of these on your calendar to attend? I bet some overlap since we are making up for lost time.
Everything is “getting back to normal” including our stress level
We just settled into the new normal and now we are trying to return to a modified version of our old normal. I say modify because requirements continue to change too. Some places are going back to masks or asking for evidence of vaccination for admittance. Every extra requirement complicates our days. So back to normal sounds even more stressful than the pandemic because it is consuming more time and mental energy.
Where are the instructions for managing all of this?
Yes, I am Catholic and many Christians say the Bible is the instruction book. It guides on the big things like not killing, stealing, cheating and how to treat others. But let’s face it, it does not tell me how to find time to line fields, run a business, plan an annual festival in weeks verses months, get volunteers, manage your house, serve at Church and relax on Sunday. It just tells me to make Sunday a day of rest- but someone has to count the offering, clean the church, host the gathering after services. Don’t forget that fall sports are when, Sunday afternoon! When is God publishing a new version that addresses these?
Okay I’m being a little flip, but seriously, how do we fit it all in and have a day to rest and just be with family or friends. If you are a person that wants to excel, achieve and help others, it is not easy!
If your response is “No shit, Virginia!” keep reading!
You are not alone
I can relate! A few months ago, I stepped up to help organize a major event in our town because no one else wanted to run it and I think it is a great event and important to our town, which I love. So, this decision aligns with my values, but it’s the worst possible time because it is field hockey season and soon will also be CCD starting. And did I mention I run two businesses! I cannot “give up” anything but figure out my priorities each day based on what is due or happening that week.
I understand feeling like you are not sure which way to turn because the list is overwhelming.
Prioritize by values
I do not mean by timeline of events and deadlines; I mean in accordance with your personal values.
I have a client that is often called on to plan events in her community. She loves it and has had great success, but one of her children is getting married in a few months. In this case, prioritize the wedding over any community event. Even if it means saying, you are not available for a few months to help with the community events in any capacity.
I know that is tough, but in the long run it will be best not only for you as a person but for the events. This gets dedicated resources on each rather than partial attention because you are running out of days.
How to manage it
Reach out to the other parents and see how you can divide and conquer getting kids to and from practice and activities.
If you are the volunteer coach, troop leader or instructor, set expectations at work that on certain days for a few months you have a hard stop, and do not make that hard stop the last possible minute you can leave and arrive on time. Factor this in as you set deadlines for deliverables at work.
Try these simple tips to help you focus when the list is overwhelming”
- Take a deep breath- really just a few will make a difference.
- Move to another spot to work – change the scenery and refocus.
- Watch for the reminders that you can do this such as a friend in the same chaos saying, “No problem. Prioritize!” Or a coach saying he/she has practice covered.
- Give yourself grace to
- Get a little extra sleep one morning
- Put aside the stack of papers for the community event to focus on business first.
- Skip a meeting because something else is a priority
It will all get done, one thing at a time. Stressing over it or jumping around from one effort to the next is a waste of time.
Virginia Walton, CPC, ELI-MP, is an executive burnout coach helping corporate women optimize productive, reduce stress and avoid burnout.