Virginia WaltonIf you prefer the video version, click here https://youtu.be/nbCwlCQvXQY
Do you feel like you are running non- stop; like there is no down time. You get into bed, turn off the light and your to do list is racing through your mind or does your mind hit replay of your day showing the highlights of the things that did not go as planned?
If any of this sounds familiar, you are not alone!
Here is the irony of the situation. You are working so hard to get ahead, meet everyone’s expectations and keep everything moving forward and yet you aren’t. At least not the way you want to.
You just keep trying to do everything and take care of everyone at work and at home.
How often have you had to resend an email, because you were rushing and hit send before you finished or got distracted with something else, went back to that original email and hit send thinking you had finished it?
Maybe you are mastering work, but you struggle to keep everything at home and outside of work organized. Are you constantly forgetting to make sure the laundry was done so your kids have a clean uniform for tomorrow’s game? Giving yourself just enough time to race home provided you do not get a red light or a slow car in front of you?
I have been there too.
I am embarrassed to admit how many times I had to recall an email because it was incomplete, to the wrong person or had some horrible grammatical error that I saw just has it disappeared from my screen. Or worse, I got a response back that I had only addressed half of it because I did not completely read the email in my rush to get a response out and it out of my inbox.
I am guilting of sitting at my desk or in a meeting until the last possible minute before getting changed and racing down the highway because I had 15 kids waiting for me on a field. Their parents dropping them off to rush another kid to a different practice or use the 90 minutes to get groceries.
Yes, we are all busy and trying to squeeze in as much as possible and in the process not being as awesome as we can.
Now that we are on the same page.
Be grateful you gave yourself this time because now we can talk about what to do to change this.
If you are a multi-tasker- STOP!
You cannot do two things at the same time so do not even try to do three or more. This is why we send incomplete emails. We are trying to do multiple things at one time.
You can find numerous articles on this topic, but I’ll save you that time. They basically say if you are trying to do this 1) you are half-assing all of it and 2) it can lead to early onset of dementia. These are two really good reasons to stop!
Everything is not an emergency.
In a world of instant gratification, we feel like we have to respond immediately to every text, IM and email. Change your mindset on this! Sick or injured child or parent- yes that is an emergency. Proofing an article for publication, preparing board reporting, analyzing last months sales volume are not.
I can hear some of you saying, “Well, clearly you do not know my boss, Virginia.” You are right, but I have worked for that type.
My one boss waited until the last possible minute to review our material for the board meeting and then wanted edits so it sent his team into a fire drill.
I know you cannot say “No, I can’t do that tonight I have to get my kids to dance, I have a PTO or Committee meeting so you should have reviewed this when I sent it to you a week ago.” So, you take care of your family and other commitments and then you are back at your laptop until well past when you should be in bed. I have been there.
Try these tips
- Ask if another parent can drive your child that time or cover the meeting, or let the committee chair know you had a priority come up and work and you will catch up with her/him tomorrow.
- Suffer through this once or twice.
- If you see this is a pattern with your boss, learn how you can change to help reduce the risk of this. Have a conversation with her/him, at a later point to say “I noticed you often want changes to this material, what can I do differently to help reduce the need for last minute edits?”
Do not have this conversation in the middle of the fire drill. Wait until things are calmer and the risk of an emotional reaction is reduced.
- Along this line of instant gratification, start setting some practices in place to give yourself un-distractable time. Use your out of office response on email to say you are not available for the next hour or two and will respond to emails after X time.
You will still have to address them, but you will be more focused and more efficient doing this then jumping to every email when it comes in. The same applies for instant messages. Use the Do Not Disturb feature when you need time to focus.
- Last stop, checking emails in meetings. You again are halfassing both since you are not paying attention.
These are not difficult but these things take practice. Pick one and start working on it to make it a habit. Trying to change everything at once, will only stress you out more.