Virginia WaltonDictonary.com defines confidence as the consciousness of your power and abilities.
How would you rate your confidence level? The odds are it fluctuates.
On the days you are crushing your to-do list, meetings are going as planned without confrontation, you had time for that morning workout, and everyone got out of the house without any drama or forgetting something it is probably a 9 or 10.
If you thought yes, but those days are rare; you are NOT alone!
More often we start the day off feeling confident and as it progresses something happens. You get an email, a call, or a comment that criticizes something you worked on, and it starts to slide.
Often it is something simple that makes you doubt your abilities. And your 10 plummets and the more you think about it the lower your confidence goes.
Sound familiar? I am sure it does. If it does, there is a better way.
Confidence is like a muscle. You need to work it to make it stronger, so you do not go to a place of self-doubt and questioning when those situations arise.
Improving your confidence will make you feel better and improve your productivity.
Here are three ways to help keep that confidence closer to 10.
Keep your accomplishment list current.
I recently read a suggestion to make a list of all of your achievements and pull it out when you feel defeated. I admit my first reaction was, “Well that’s corny!” If that surprises you since I am a coach, awesome!
Because I’m willing to bet a good portion of you had the same reaction. Why?
The corporate environment teaches us to be tough, strong, and confident, so having a personal praise list sounds a little too touchy-feely.
My second thought was” Wait! You have to record your professional accomplishments in your self-assessment at review time, so what if we tweak this to be a productivity enhancement.
If you are like me, you are probably so busy getting shit done, you don’t think about your goals and accomplishments until it is time for quarterly or mid-year check-ins, which makes it a draining task because you are going back through your notes, your calendar and email to do this update.
Instead, make it part of your weekly routine. By recording your accomplishments and progress each week, you will save time when you get to evaluations, be able to better articulate your accomplishments to your manager and see the ongoing value you provide.
This regular re-enforcement is an opportunity to flex your confidence muscle to make it stronger.
I recommend not making this a Friday task, because let’s face it by Friday you just want to shut down and relax. Do it Wednesday afternoon or Thursday morning so it gives you a boost to push through the rest of the week.
Or if you find yourself beating yourself up, shift your schedule and do it then! It will focus you to shift your thoughts from those self-deprecating thoughts to more positive ones.
Manage Your Self-Talk.
Again, I know ‘self-talk’ sounds a little ‘woo-woo’, but the reality is we do it all the time.
I am not talking about having conversations with yourself as you walk down the hall. I am talking about the stories we tell ourselves.
You get an email from a colleague, and you read a tone into it, you then have a reaction. Maybe it is anger, “How dare he question my decision! Who does he think he is?”
Maybe it is one of doubt, “I can’t believe I missed that typo in my email. He is going to think I am an idiot. How dopy of me!”
Then the next thing you know you have lost 30 or 40 minutes just hashing this out in your head because you made up an entire scenario and reaction in your own mind!
This was not only a waste of time, but it was also a huge waste of mental energy and confidence. If you have a concern, get clarity! Nine times out of ten the story we made up is completely off base.
You have to break this habit. It’s not easy, but it is possible. Trust me!
I would spend hours beating myself up over something because of the story I made up in my head. Change the message and get clarity.
A peer and I were on the same email regarding the need to make a schedule change. I read the email as factual statements. My peer read it as a personal attack. The words were the same but the message we told ourselves was different. After reading the email, I received a text showing how much energy my peer was putting into this story and was ready to take extreme action.
In the past, I probably would have done the same thing, but practicing the habit to stop the stories made me see the factual statements, determine a course of action and move on.
Self-doubt, questioning, and stewing are the worst things we can do! They waste time, drain our energy and hold us back. No one can afford this.
Want a simple way to start breaking this habit.
Set up the jar! Use the concept of the swear jar and every time you catch yourself doing this, put a dollar in the jar.
After all, this habit is costing you money so let’s make the cost visual.
Work on your physical health.
Let’s face it ladies, how we feel physically plays a huge part in our confidence level.
This does mean you have to lose that pesky 10 pounds or spend a fortune on face care products to be confident. This is about everyday choices.
- Get to bed on time. You will never feel confident when you are exhausted and tired.
- Move. Whether it is a workout, a walk, yoga, cross-fit, or a hike. Do what you enjoy to get your body moving. Not only will this help you feel physically fit, but exercise also gives you an opportunity to clear your mind.
- Eat quality food! Avoid sugar-rich snacks when you are low on mental or physical energy. Yes, a cookie is wonderful, but if you are using it as a source of comfort you will regret that decision and continue to the cycle of beating yourself up. Nutrient-rich foods make you feel healthier, stronger, and more energized. Not to mention making good decisions boost your confidence so talk about your win-win!
If you want to have more focus and waste less time beating yourself up or doubting your skills. You need to modify your habits to flex your confidence muscle.
Like any good workout, you may be a little sore at first, but you will love the results!