Virginia WaltonBeing in risk management is an important role, but let’s be honest. It is not always a fun one.
You may have to point out an issue and most people do not like being told there is a problem in their area. They get defensive or critical of your work.
You may have to say a new product or business segment is out of risk tolerance to which you are called Business Prevention.
And if you are the only one at the table for these it can wear on you, it is mentally exhausting to have to defend your work, to endure the challenges and eye rolls, just because you did your job well.
It would be easy to tell you, just leave that at work, but let’s be honest, we cannot check our personal lives at the office door, nor can we leave our work experience at our desks at night. We are human and we take it all with us everywhere.
If we are not careful these feelings of always being the odd-man-out, carry into who we are as a person.
We become defensive and guarded, which then makes it harder to let others in creating a vicious cycle.
Sound familiar? I am sure it does. You are not alone!
We have been there. Maybe even on both sides of these experiences!
I ran our internal loan review function and when it was time for our internal audit, I felt that conflict. I was nervous, especially when I found out the lead auditor was one of the best in the department. I respected her, I consider her a friend to this day, but DAMN I was scared.
Guess what, she found some issues, but nothing major and we received a Satisfactory rating. But my boss reacted like it was the end of the world! WTH? It was satisfactory! And he was a former Chief Auditor, so he knew what that meant. But it wasn’t perfect.
Talk about feeling alone. We passed and I was getting treated like a failure.
I hope that no one relates to that! It’s awful. If you can, I am sorry. But know you are not alone and please reach out!!!!!
How do we get past this? How do we stand strong in our work and remain comfortable in our own skin?
First, focus on knowing your work and that of your team are important and you produce quality results that protect the business.
When you would get the eyeroll or defensive comment, you know the ones, smile. As I think about some of the personalities I dealt with, I can guarantee that reaction would piss them off.
But seriously, smile! It makes you feel better so you can continue without reacting with the same negativity. I actually had an EVP, hang up on me. Very mature. Guess what I did? I laughed. I was like WOW. He felt I was outside my ‘sandbox’, seriously that is the word he used and he reacted by hanging up which is like taking the toy from the other kid in the sandbox.
The point here is that you should not let their reaction diminish your self-worth. Smile and move on.
Second, have a support system.
You can call it a squad, a posse, a tribe, a village, whatever visual works best for you.
This is usually used when referring to raising children, but if you think about it, we continue to grow and develop as adults so we still need the village. In the corporate environment, it is recommended you have a mentor, a sponsor, and an advocate. A mentor helps guide you based on his/her experience, a sponsor will support you and an advocate recommends you when you are not in the room.
In terms of our health, we have multiple doctors for our routine care, a primary physician, an OBGYN, a dermatologist, a chiropractor, a cardiologist, a dentist, and the list goes on and varies, but most of us have at least two or three different medical professionals we see regularly just for good health.
You may also have a personal trainer, a nutritionist, a massage therapist, a hairdresser, and a nail tech.
Of course, you should have a coach too!
Your village needs to include those who support you, check on you and when you feel alone, you can reach out to. A client said to me she choose me as a coach because unlike her spouse and therapist, I understood what she was talking about when it came to the things she was facing at work.
You need someone who gets it, so if you have other risk people in your system they will understand and you will understand them when they need that support.
Do you seem my point, we have a village to keep us well and moving forward so in this you need someone who understands what you do and the challenges it presents and can support you on the days when you feel like you are being challenged by the entire world.
Third, evaluate your support system periodically.
Use those risk processes!
You periodically check if processes are effective, if products are yielding proper returns, and if controls are functioning. Do the same with your support system!
- Does it have the right roles?
- Does it provide the support you need?
- Are there weak links?
Do not wait for tough times to find out who you truly can go to for support. Work on those relationships regularly. If it is one-sided, let it slip away. If you are the only one always taking and not giving, correct that. If you have someone that is always draining you address it.
Your role at work can drain you enough, do not let your relationships do that too. Trust me, when you step away from the friend that only reaches out to complain or ask for a favor, you will feel better. Those relationships do not feed you! You feel used and that is worse than alone.
Smile and build a healthy village!