Virginia WaltonI found it amazing how many women when I asked, “what is the one thing you want’ said ‘permission’.
They did not want permission for the same thing. It ranged from more headcount, and a break, to not always being ‘on’ or simply the ability to cry.
The last one that hit me. Permission to cry or to just break down. It means somewhere along the way; we have imposed on us the idea that we have to be strong all the time and never have a moment of weakness.
We are not machines. We are humans with needs that must be met. Of course, we do have one thing in common with machines or our devices. We need the energy to run.
I’ve said this before, you would not expect your phone to work if you had not put it on the charger for days, so why do you think you are any different. Your phone needs a break and guess what, it does NOT ask permission. It demands a recharge.
Why don’t you demand a recharge for yourself?
Is your phone better and more important than you? NO!
So how do you give yourself the permission you need for whatever you need, whether it is a break, the ability to say no to something, ask for help, or just be human?
We use the skills we apply all day at work. Think about it.
You spend your day giving or denying permission to things.
I don’t just mean PTO requests, but approval to close an issue, approval to move a claim forward, send a policy to the board for a vote, sign off that a new product is within risk tolerance, and determine a third-party vendor meets the company standards.
No matter what your role is in some fashion you are giving permission to things. And you do it with ease and have made the right decisions otherwise you would not be in your role!
So why if you do it with ease and accuracy at work all day, do you struggle to do it for yourself?
Simple!
We feel selfish in our asks, we feel like we are letting others down, or not pulling our weight.
STOP! You are doing amazing things every day, but everyone needs a break or help sometimes.
So how do you apply your professional permission-giving skills to your own needs?
Use the same approach. We’ll take an example we can all relate to. We need a break.
Evaluate this like an issue or risk at work.
Scenario: You are tired. You are struggling to focus on your work.
- You see this is reducing your effectiveness, you are less efficient, you are ‘edgy’ in your responses to peers and team members and the quality of your work is suffering.
- None of this sounds like it is within risk tolerance. Let’s do the analysis.
Risks:
- Tired and overwhelmed could lead to physical ailments from stress and running your immune system down.
- Less focused and less efficient could lead to lower quality work, failure to meet expectations, and potentially negatively impact compensation.
- Edginess strains relationships not just at work, but in your personal life. Poor relationships make it harder to be effective at work.
Control point: Take a break.
Benefits:
- Improved clarity
- Increased energy
- Greater efficiency
- Less stress, which means improved health and well being
- Feeling better and being more effective leads to an improved disposition.
If you saw this on a mitigation plan or on a risk control statement, you would likely sign off on the issue.
Treat your own needs as an issue to be resolved.
If you have to, use the same sign-off format you use at work!
Use the tools you have to mitigate risk professionally to mitigate your own risk of burnout, failure or expectations work. You have already mastered them, just start applying.
If you need a template for how to do this, drop me a comment and I will send you one! If you need a permission slip, I’ll send you that too!