Virginia WaltonWe’ve talked about mindset and how important it is so today we are going to re-enforce that. When does anyone feel excited about being told they have to do something? You have to get a job, you have to go to school, you have to eat healthy, you have to give up smoking or drinking, you have to exercise more, you have to go to bed. Once someone tells says’ have to’ you are on edge, you feel like it is a chore, not a choice. This mindset started when we were kids with bedtime, homework, brushing your teeth. I don’t jump out of bed excited to brush my teeth, but I’m not looking at is ‘ugh… man, I have to brush my teeth. My mindset changed as I grew up.
We get pizza every Friday, schedule permitting, neither of us view that as a ‘have to’. That is a ‘get to.’ We could view it as “ugh, I have to call in an order, pick it up, spend money,” but we don’t! We look forward to that time to sit and relax with cheesy garlicy goodness.
We get to enjoy going for ice cream on Sundays. Again, it could be a chore. We could say, it’s raining or the weather is perfect so the line will be long, we have to put on a mask, it’s unhealthy, or it’s hot and we have to eat fast. Seriously, though, who does that!
How would it feel if you viewed your workout as an I get to? You get to have time for you, you get to have time to work out your stress, you get to have time with no one asking you for anything – no boss, no kids, no spouse- just you and a machine or weights. That sounds fabulous! 90 minutes of me time! As opposed to ugh, I have to get in a workout if I want to be swimsuit ready.
I have to eat lean food so I can fit into my jeans is a different feeling then, I get to enjoy my fresh veggies and hummus. Serious, I have fresh veggies with hummus and a hard-boiled egg on avocado toast with fresh spinach for lunch every day. I enjoy it, I look forward to it. I view the fact I have this healthy lunch on a real plate as an enjoyment. I get to eat fresh food! I’m not thinking “Damn, I wish these were fries and a burger.” Don’t get me wrong I enjoy those too, but I don’t view my weekday lunch as a “have to”; I truly enjoy it and it’s healthy!
When I worked for my former employer, I was very clear with my peers, boss and staff that I have to leave by 4PM to get to field hockey practice. This was a key message so they knew this was non-negotiable on my calendar on those days. Afterall, I had ~15 kids on a field in the middle of nowhere. Yes, that statement created some short-term stress to get out of the office and pray to the traffic gods for no accidents or delays. But once I hit the field, it was no longer a chore or a ‘have to’ but a ‘get to’. Phone was in my bag and I got to enjoy the time with these kids. I got to watch them improve, be silly with them, help them learn to love the sport, how to work as a team, and do the work to prepare. Getting to be part of their lives, is an honor not a chore.
Where can you apply this in your life? If you looked at the task as an opportunity not a chore, how much easier would it be? How motivated would you be to get it done?
- Remember someone did not get out of bed today, but you got to.
- Someone else did not have a job to go but got to go to work even if it is virtual right now.
- Someone who couldn’t have children would have loved to been getting a child ready for school.
- You may have felt like you had to force down that protein shake, while another person would have viewed it as a get to because that would be a luxury item in the budget.
It’s perspective, if you want to achieve something, view the work that has to be done as a ‘get to’ not ‘have to.’ It will make all the difference in your success rate. Remember, we did not like being told what we have to do as children so anything that is a have to do is not going to be fun.
You get to move yourself closer to your goals each day. You don’t have to, but that attitude will not get you there.
PS- You still have to brush your teeth, even if you’re working from home!