Virginia WaltonIf you prefer the video version, click here https://youtu.be/8zT4a7O6hk0
Are you inundated with messages from your boss, your co-workers, your kids, your spouse, your family? What about messages from your favorite news channel, podcast, social media or maybe your favorite real house wife?
We are constantly getting messages from all of these sources and so many others. They come as texts, emails, posts, videos, voicemail etc.
Are they helping or hurting you? Are the pushing you forward or dragging you down?
These messages all have one thing in common. They have the delete option.
You can delete emails, texts, IM and voice mail. You can unfollow pages and people on social media. You can change the channel, stop playing the podcast or turn on Golden Girls instead of the Real Housewives.
Afterall, who doesn’t want to be Sophia when we’re 80!!!
Seriously, though, if these sources of messages are making you feel inferior, belittled, unappreciated or any other negative thought, it’s time to STOP listing to them.
Feel like you have no control? You do!
No control on the messages from your boos? Really, you have options and not just quitting your job.
- Have a conversation with your boss. He/ She may not realize how they are messaging.
- If it is really awful and abusive, go to your HR Partner. You do not have to tolerate this. HR called me in one time because something I thought was a casual joke offended someone. I had no idea, so I was grateful it was brought to my attention so I could adjust.
- If you have a mentor that knows your manager, ask for guidance.
- Take action!
These approaches can apply to any of these situations where the messages are holding you back but you feel like you have not control.
The first step is acknowledging it.
Second is talk to the person.
Talk, not text, not email, but have an actual conversation! Tone is extremely important here. Text, email, IM do not have that and can lead to misunderstandings making it worse rather than better.
Now for the biggest source of messages we get.
Odds are it is yourself! Yes, the voice in our head. Your inner voice is always with you.
Those messages are with you all day!
There is no delete option, no ability to change the channel, no ability to just walk away!
So, what do you do with those messages? You CHANGE them! Remember you are in control!
How do you change them? Make a conscious choice!
Tell yourself how awesome you are, rather than dwell on your mistakes or things that are not yet where you want them.
The holidays are coming so for most of us that means more food, more desserts, more treats. What are you telling yourself?
- I always gain weight this time of year, I’ve accepted it.
- I am gaining weight, I’m fat!
- I am too tired to exercise.
- I am too busy to exercise.
What if instead you said:
- I enjoy our cookie exchange; I’m going to make that one day my treat to myself – just that day.
- I will make time to exercise so I have more energy.
- I will enjoy only small portions of all the holiday goodies. Portion control is key.
- I will watch my food choices during the week so I can enjoy the holiday celebrations.
- I am going to exercise at least 20 minutes 5 days this week. A little is better than none during this busy time.
Are you telling yourself you are exhausted, you can’t keep up, you have no time for you?
What if instead you said:
- I am getting to bed on time. No scrolling online wasting time.
- I need to mediate each morning to be more productive and effective.
- I need one hour a day to work on me. It is not selfish; it is necessary to be able to do all the great things I do for everyone else.
- I am working on being the best version of me – I define that. No one else.
The messages we tell ourselves are more powerful than any external source.
If you want to feel better, less stressed, less overwhelmed, more accomplished, more in control, healthier, start by telling yourself you are all of these things.
The messages you hear impact your actions. Make sure the messages are aligned to your goals and it will be easier to take the actions.
If you are ready to change your internal messages but do not know how, I am here to help.
Let’s connect soon! The time to take action is now!