Virginia WaltonDoes it feed you or drain you? We all have things we love to do; they energize us and inspire us. And then there are those things we just dread. Now I’d love to tell you that you never have to do the dreaded things, but that is probably not realistic for most. You can look to outsource or delegate these things though to reduce how many dreaded things you must do. If you cannot pay someone else to do them or delegate to a child as a chore, how about changing your approach so they are more energizing.
Let’s start with the things that drain you. This is going to be unique to you. What one person hates doing, may be a source of relaxation to another. Ironing- I hate it. Even though I had pleated skirts for uniforms my entire childhood, I never mastered this. I iron in wrinkles. Yet, I have a former co-worker actually enjoyed it. He did all of the ironing for his household (4 adults). He would watch TV and no one bothered him while he did this. It was his down time. So, could you borrow his approach? If not, find a good dry cleaner!
Housework or yard work? I gave up my lawn service this year because I have more time. I actually enjoy mowing my lawn. I burn 400-500 calories doing it and feel such a sense of pride when it is done. Sometimes I listen to an audio book so I’m gaining knowledge too! How about you? Can you find the benefits in these chores? No; then find someone to do this for you and if you think it is not in your budget, look at where you spend money. Would you trade something else to not have this draining task on your list every week? The expression I grew up with was, “Where there this is a will, there is a way.”
These are just a couple of examples of how to look at the things that are draining your energy and your patience level. Exercise- some people love doing it. I love the feeling and the results, but it takes a lot to get started each workout, so I focus on the results to reduce my draining sense and then I set little challenges throughout my workout to keep me going. I feel great once it’s done, not because it is done, but the fact I improved myself.
Work- that consumes most of your waking hours each week. Does it feed your soul, your bank account or both? Ideally, we all want to say both. Now I’m not saying quit your job and become the artist, musician or poet you always wanted to be with no concern for income. If your financial situation says you can, awesome; do it! But most of us do not have that opportunity, but that does not mean you have to be miserable for the sake of a paycheck. You have two choices. The first is change your outlook on your job by focusing on all of the parts you do enjoy and when you have to do a part you do not like, remember how much you do enjoy and excel at. The other option is, look for a new job. There is no rule that says you can’t look while still employed. Just keep your commitments to your current employer. In this scenario you have the luxury of time to find something that meets your needs financially and brings you enjoyment.
We’ve talked about chores, work and now let’s explore everything else you do! Volunteering at your children’s school or with their sports and activities? Or maybe it’s within your community or at church? Do these activities fuel your soul and energize you? If not, why are you doing them? Before you say, “Yes” to the next request, stop and ask yourself this question. If you say, “No”, let that be your answer to the request. If you aren’t committed to it, how much value will you bring to the effort and how much energy will it cost you? You cannot give what you do not have; focus your time and talents on those things where you can bring your ‘A Game’.
Years ago, when I first started teaching religious education at my church, I remember racing out of the office and playing beat traffic on the interstate thinking “Why am I doing this?” I have no children; this is stressing my calendar. I already volunteer as a coach and coordinator for field hockey and as a reader at Church why did I take this on? Then, I put my phone down and shared our faith with our class. That night when I walked out to my car, my energy was so much higher. I knew exactly why I did it. The kids fuel my soul and teaching them has strengthened my own faith. The same is true for me when it comes to field hockey. The kids fuel me. Running sprints with them keeps me in shape. I accept the less than fun tasks like running registration and scheduling officials because of the joy the kids give and hopefully get. Same approach as we already talked about when it comes to work or chores.
The hard part of all of this is to shift into this mindset. Once you do that, the rest is easy! If you are not sure where to start, reach out and I can help you find the best approach for you. Each of us is unique but we can all do take the steps to keep us from burning out.
Be well!