Virginia WaltonIf you prefer the video version click here: https://virginiawalton.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Corporate-Women-How-Much-Time-Do-You-Spend-Enjoying-Life.mp4
As women we often are the ones doing the scheduling, planning, shopping, cleaning, preparing etc.
These have been our roles for centuries. As we continue to advance as society there has been movement towards more balance, but based on my experience and those in my circle, many of these tasks or chores still tend to be managed by women.
Even at work, women tend to be the ones with the extra chores like making sure there is something planned to celebrate a special occasion or order the group gift for your administrative support staff.
Even after I left the Credit Department, which was predominately male, I was the one planning a recognition for someone’s upcoming wedding or another event.
So, we continue to just fall into these roles, it’s habit. Afterall, we are the ones that get shit done so that means we are often looked to when something needs to be done.
It happens in our homes and at work and we do not usually take notice until we hit that point- the breaking point!
I use the term breaking point because from what I have seen, we literally break; we snap and declare we have had enough and usually in a messy way.
There is a story about two sisters. One is busy tending to the needs of the guests, cooking, cleaning and serving. The other sits down and enjoys the guests. Well, the first hits her breaking point and goes to the guest of honor and askes him to yell at her sister to help her.
He stays calm and reminds her that her sister has made a wise choice to enjoy the company.
As we are in the holiday season, this seemed like a great reminder.
For several years I have been the host for our family Christmas gathering, which would be around 20+ people. Having been estranged from my father’s family for most of my life, it was an honor to be able to have this big family gathering.
Two days of cooking, setting up and cleaning up were worth it, but I realized I spent much of the time my family was here bouncing from table to kitchen. As they arrived, I was usually busy getting the meal ready to serve and chasing them into the living room.
I wanted my family to relax and enjoy each other, but I was depriving myself of that same joy.
Are you depriving yourself of that special time?
Worse are you depriving your family of you?
In the story of the two sisters I shared, the one got a little pissy. Who enjoys that?
I do not just mean the guest that were probably uncomfortable with her outburst, but the sister having the outburst.
I bet most of us can relate to her. We have probably all lost our shit a little when we had a house full of guests and something finally broke.
I would tell my family as they arrived, coming into my home via the kitchen. “I love you, but get out of my kitchen.” As I say that, I think well that’s a mouthful of holiday cheer. YUCK!
It is so easy to get caught up in our never ending to do lists, which this time of year are even worse- shopping, cards, decorating, baking, trying to schedule time with friends and family and not leave anyone out of make them feel secondary that we can lose sight of the joy of the season.
This is supposed to be a season of celebration, not stress! Remind yourself of that.
In reality, no one cares about the table decorations or how perfectly wrapped gifts are. We are together because we want to celebrate our connections to each other, not to judge the quality of the centerpiece and beauty of the wrapping paper.
Think about it. Those things end up in the garbage!
Stop focusing on what will ultimately be trash and focus on the joy of the season!
If your To Do List has nothing listed that brings you joy- time for it to go in the trash too!