Virginia WaltonAre you on autopilot with your ‘yes?’
How often do you say yes and then go, shit why did I agree that?
We all do it.
We want to please everyone else, and we forget about ourselves, but in the end, we aren’t really pleasing anyone.
Why?
Because you don’t give your best when you are beating yourself up with regret and annoyance.
So how do we avoid that?
We PAUSE!
You can do this.
We do not have to respond immediately to everything.
We have let technology dictate our speed rather than our own judgment. Talk about letting the machines take us over!
When I say pause, I don’t mean ignore the conversation, text, IM, email and hope it goes away.
I mean take a breath!
If you have to bite your cheek or tongue until you retrain your body to not automatically say yes.
While you take that pause ask yourself these simple questions.
1. Do I have time, if not, what can I delay in order to make time for this?
If you said yes, proceed to the next question.
If you said no, ask can you delay something else?
If you said no, that is your answer to the ask. NO. I simply do not have time now.
This does not mean never; it may be not now.
Remember no matter how many things you have on your calendar and to-do list, you still only get 24 hours in a day, and sleep (and showering!!!) is required to be consumed by a portion of those hours.
2. Does this align with my goals, my values, and my priorities?
If you said yes, proceed to the next question.
If you said no, then that is your answer.
3. Does this fuel my energy?
You should be excited for the opportunity and ready to take it on.
If you said yes to all three questions, you are in alignment. There should be no regret as you move forward.
If you start to feel regret, pause, and reevaluate using these same questions.
If not, why would I do this?
Bottom Line
If it is not required as part of your role whether that be at work or in your other activities/groups, it should align to your goals and personal priorities.
Stop just saying yes without making sure these demands are moving you forward in some way.
You do not get more time.
It is a finite resource, and I don’t care how many time-saving tips you implement you will not get more. At some point, we all run out of time, and sadly none of us knows when that will be.
There are no guarantees on tomorrow so make sure you are spending your time in a way that is moving you forward.
That does not mean it has to be getting you a promotion, advancing you on the corporate ladder, or moving your team into the spotlight.
Time is a personal resource and how you spend it should align with what is important to you as a PERSON.
The things that we are passionate about fuel us even if they take long hours. You gain energy from that time. It is an investment in you!
Here is an example of this approach.
I stepped up last year to organize our town’s annual festival.
· Did I have time? Probably not!
· Did I delay something else? Yes!
· Did I want to do it? No!
· Did it align with my values? YES, being of service and supporting my community are strong values for me.
So doing something that was good for my town, aligned with my values so I made the time, found the energy and it taught me a lot about not only event planning, but myself.
Start taking a pause to stop and ask these three simple questions before you say yes.
I promise it will save you time in the long run because you won’t find yourself questioning why you are doing it, regretting your decision or dreading the work.
Virginia Walton is a Certified Professional Coach helping executive women maximize their productivity and avoid burnout. She spent 24 years in the banking and finance industry starting as a teller at a local community bank and achieving the level of Senior Vice President by the age of 38. She now runs her own Executive Coaching and Speaking firm, the family tree farm and serves on several nonprofit and community organizations.